Boring Manifesto

My resume objective reads: “A useful, resourceful and enjoyable teammate to work with is a person I aspire to be.” Yes, it’s just a marketing bullshit but I believe usefulness will outperform any God-given talents in the long run.

It all began in 2006.

I rented a PS2 and the brand new Pro Evolution Soccer 6 just came out. The cover displayed a bald muscular latino wearing Inter Milan kit. He was Adriano, a rising star footballer from Brazil. He could score a goal from 50 yards out. He dribbled a lot, twice as fast as Inzaghi of course. He took on Maldini, Zambrotta, Thuram, and other strong defenders of that era. He was the perfect striker at the time. The next el fenomeno.

I mean I played with great champions. I played with players that already were ‘WOW’, I played with players that I saw were a talent and then became ‘WOW’, but the one I felt could do it longer, and he didn’t do it, was Adriano at Inter.” — Zlatan Ibrahimović

Back then, I was a dumb middle schooler. Little did I know that the story of Adriano will hit me in the head later in life.

Adriano was a destroyer, a dominant player while on the other hand Inzaghi was an average player with unique ability. Same position, different character. Adriano is an alpha, Inzaghi is a beta.

Do you believe in the dichotomy of alpha and beta? I kind of believe that. There’s a little difference between human and chimpanzee.

I believe the characteristics of alpha cannot be attained through training. It’s similar to the concept of Haoshoku no Haki (the qualities of a conqueror) in One Piece. A gift endowed by The God himself. Only one in a million was born with those “qualities”. I suppose the world will become chaos if populated by too many alpha males.

I stand errect in front of the mirror every morning. It’s plain to see that the man in the mirror is not a conqueror. Yes, I know it for sure. I am the ultimate beta male.

That’s a bitter truth. It’s hard for a man to own up his weakness. Being a beta male is no easy task.

With that being said, I begin to train myself to become the best beta male I can be. I listen to instructions. I follow the best leaders I can learn from. I never give command. I will never give command.

To become the best beta male I can be, I need role models to look up to. These are the greatest beta males in history I’ll ever know:

Abu Bakr

Prophet Muhammad’s sidekick. He sacrificed everything for Islam. He was a loyal friend. He funded a war. A former ellite merchant respected by all. A beta male like him once ruled one third of Arabian Peninsula. Waging a war against The Sassanid Empire.

Paul McCartney

He wrote many hits. One of the great song writer and rock and roll bassist of all time. “Yesterday” was his masterpiece. The shadow of Lennon. The second guy in The Beatles. He was my hero growing up.

Scottie Pippen

3 dimensional small forward. A great dribbler, passer and 3-point shooter. He was the shadow of Michael Jordan but some critics regarded Pippen as an all-rounder who was more versatile in techniques than Jordan. He didn’t care when media gave all the credits to Jordan. The important man in Chicago Bulls. Won 6 championships. I admire his calming presence on and off the court.

And many more great beta males I can’t describe here one by one:

  • Andra Ramadhan (Dewa 19)
  • Jarwo (Naif)
  • Moh. Hatta
  • Kaka (Slank)
  • Sanji (One Piece)
  • Son Goku (Well, he’s the strongest man in the universe but stupid and has no clue about being a Saiyan king. Vegeta on the other hand is an alpha male.)
  • John Watson
  • Robin (The Batman)
  • Shikamaru (Naruto)

In conclusion, there is no shame in being a beta male. Clearly, I don’t have charisma. I never give command. I will never give command. I dated a girl at the age of 27 and the girl (8 years my junior) made the first move to struck up the conversation. Adriano was once a rising star, an alpha male at heart but fell down like a shooting star because of his bad attitude. He drank, whored, partied and skipped training.

The Batman said, “I am vengeance”.

Muhammad D. R. said, “I am the ultimate beta male”.

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